When we think about goals, we often default to familiar categories: working out more, eating differently, and being more productive. These can be meaningful goals, but they tend to fall apart when they’re too vague or disconnected from who we actually are.
You've probably heard of PTSD — It tends to be discussed in connection with a specific, overwhelming event, something clearly identifiable that the nervous system struggles to recover from. Complex PTSD (or C-PTSD) is chronic and talked about less often, even though it affects many people whose experiences don’t fit that single-event narrative.
When we experience disappointing responses to our efforts, it’s tempting to make that mean something about how unskilled we are, how incompetent we must be, or even how unlovable or undeserving of a person we feel we are. We tell ourselves a story that if we had just worked a little harder, or said the right thing, or “mastered” the extremely simple art of toasting toast, then we would receive a more favorable response and thus, feel better about ourselves.
We often hear the words “emotional regulation” and think it means: “be rational instead of emotional” or “maybe just don’t feel your emotions at all!” Maybe you’ve even heard that if you let yourself feel the emotions, then people will view you as “emotionally unstable”. If you’ve heard any of the above, it totally makes sense.
Everywhere we turn, there’s a gut-wrenching headline that grips us, a new app competing for our time, or a notification that demands immediate response. Quick PSA: if you are finding it difficult to focus, it's. not. your. fault. We live in a world designed to fragment our attention.
Clients often ask what self-care and mindfulness activities I recommend or find the most helpful. Since each person is different, their body and needs for self-care will be unique to them and my answer depends on the symptoms that the client experiences. Breathwork, meditation, movement, and positive self-talk are a few self-care practices that I often recommend or incorporate into sessions; all of which are informed by my own yoga practice and training.
There is so much complexity in relating to others’ experiences while effectively relaying our own experience! One of the most powerful practices I’ve adopted and shared with my clients is the art of holding two truths at one.
Functional freeze describes the experience of shutting down and numbing while staying functional and getting through. Our physiology is essentially revved up but shut down.
Let’s first acknowledge that talking openly about sex with our partner(s) involves some vulnerability and discomfort. However, having open conversations about sex is crucial for creating a healthier and more satisfying relationship. As much as we try to convince ourselves, humans are not capable of mind-reading, so the first step to having the sexual relationship we crave is by talking about it. We can’t get what we want without saying we want it!
These parts may represent different aspects of our personality that developed in response to life experiences, traumas, or conflicts. Some parts may be protective, while others may hold pain or fear. You might uncover a part that's always trying to protect you, like your own personal bodyguard. Or maybe there's a part that's still hurting from something in the past, carrying around some emotional baggage. Each one of us has a part referred to as the "Self" – our core, undamaged essence that holds qualities such as compassion, wisdom, and clarity. The overarching goal of IFS therapy is to connect with oneself and cultivate a harmonious relationship between the Self and other inner parts.
Open communication is the backbone of all relationships, and this is especially crucial in a long-distance relationship. When you’re in different physical places, it can feel like you’re living two separate lives unless the communication is open and consistent.
Regulating your nervous system often requires a conscious effort to recalibrate and bring balance back to a system that may be on overdrive
Tears can be triggered when we experience physical pain or discomfort. This response serves as a social function to signal to others that help or comfort is needed!
Imposter Syndrome is a psychological pattern where individuals downplay their accomplishments, skills, or talents, and suffer persistent fear that they will be exposed as a ‘fraud’ despite having clear evidence of their competence
