Here are 5 quick and easy tools to calm the sympathetic nervous system and activate the parasympathetic nervous system when feeling dysregulated.
Nervous System Regulation Tips
Rest is Productive
As I type out these words, I find myself feeling overwhelmingly tired and in need of rest (in part due to the record-breaking heat wave taking over Los Angeles)… and so, I find it fitting to write about my experience. In this oppressive heat, I feel an all-encompassing sense of fatigue, trouble concentrating, eyelids drooping, and muscles feeling immensely heavy as I melt into the couch. Do these sensations sound familiar? As humans, we all need rest. That much is clear. So why do so many of us have such a hard time allowing ourselves to stop, slow down, and rest?
Over the years I’ve heard, and likely uttered, phrases such as, “I don’t have time to rest,” “I have too many things to do,” “I have no reason to feel tired,” “I don’t want to be lazy,” “I feel guilty when I rest,” and so on.
The way our capitalistic society requires us to operate is ultimately not sustainable. We are not computers… and even our computers need time to recharge! —and, to add to this metaphor, even a fully charged computer will begin to overheat and freeze up if it’s running too many applications at once!
Let’s start by reframing rest as productive—and move forward from there.
Boosting Self Esteem
Have you ever taken a step back to notice the mental chatter inside your head? The voice that says, “I’m not good enough,” “I’m not lovable,” “If only I looked like that, I’d be happier,” “They probably don’t like me because…”
That, my friends, is your state of self-esteem—and while self-esteem is an ongoing, dynamic process of self-appraisal, we can learn to bring it into balance—much closer to where we would like it to be.
I love working with my clients to help them build tools to completely transform their relationships with themselves and to the outside world. Working together, I can help you build a toolkit to arrive at a foundation of internal validation—one that is less reliant upon external validation (which, to be honest, is not the most reliable).
I don’t just talk the talk, I walk the walk—and, trust me, this walk is the one with the best view ;).
Here are my 6 best tips for increasing your self-esteem so that you are no longer seeking validation from the outside world and can finally look within yourself to see your true value.
6 Tips to Increase Self-Esteem:
Inner Child Work
Inner-child work.
Reparenting your inner child.
You may have heard these terms circling around in conversations, popping up while scrolling social media, or even mentioned to you by your therapist. But what actually IS inner child work?? What does it look like? & why is it so important? I’m here to answer those questions for you :)
Decision Making
In a world filled with uncertainty, division, and endless options, making decisions is more complicated than ever. Many of my clients struggle with decision-making, spanning from something as minute as what lunchbox to purchase for their kids, to bigger questions such as whether to end a relationship or what career path to take.
Decision-making requires us to confront our humanity and build self-agency, which can present us with challenges and fears of failure or regret. Whether you have been struggling with day-to-day decisions or long-term life choices, here are some tools to help reshape your relationship to decision-making and overcome decision-making distress.
Boundaries
As an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist and someone who constantly seeks growth and understanding of the human condition, I find that breaking down boundary setting into three components is a useful way to guide clients through the process.
The three steps are: Identification, Assertion, and Enforcement.
Step 1– Identify Your Boundaries
How do you build a home without a blueprint? How do you know where to place the windows for others to look in through, or the doors to let them inside? How solid is the foundation and the support of the walls protecting you inside? In order to set boundaries, we need to know what our boundaries are! I like to break down boundaries into physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, time-related… the list can go on! Once I have identified the various levels of boundaries, I connect to my intuition and ask myself questions such as, “How would I like to feel in the presence of others?”, “What are my limits?”, “How do I want to be talked to?”, “How much of my time am I willing to give without sacrificing my own well-being?”, etc. Once I have clearly defined my personal boundaries, I have more clarity on how to communicate them to others.
Boosting Creativity
Do you ever find yourself lacking motivation or feeling as if you’re just going about your days in auto-mode? I know I definitely do, and increasingly so these past couple of years!
Throughout the past two years many of us have unwittingly found ourselves in an ongoing state of existing vs. living. Existing is a state of numbness, operating on perpetual autopilot and clinging onto any semblance of routine and normalcy. Living, as a contrast, is the state of total engagement with life, feeling the broad spectrum of emotions, and being open to creative potential. The experience of existing can lead to a life devoid of creative expression, or what we might call writer’s block, creative slowdown, or lack of inspiration.
If you feel that you are suffering a creative block, the good news is that creative potential exists within you. Engaging with it is the key to unlocking hope and purpose—the two elements needed to awaken us from existing and elevate us into living. Here are a few ways to tap into your why and, by doing so, boost your creativity:
7 Tips for Better Sleep
Sleep is one of the highest forms of self-care, situated right at the foundation of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.
Many of us logically understand the significant impact of sleep on mental health, physical health, and overall well-being. However, sleep tends to be one of the first needs that gets sacrificed when we become increasingly busy.
I’m here to offer you several useful tips on how to maximize your sleep, but more importantly to urge you to look at sleep as a priority. Sure — self-care in the form of bubble baths, facemasks, and all the other small rituals to nurture yourself is healing — but a deep night’s sleep is ESSENTIAL.
This is because while we sleep, we recharge our bodies and minds, consolidate memories and information, increase our immune function to stay healthy, and increase our abilities to be alert and productive during the day.
Many people struggle with initial insomnia or sleep-onset insomnia, which is characterized as a difficulty in falling asleep and is often linked with anxiety.
I’ve listed some tools and techniques below, along with an evening wind-down meditation of mine, in order to support you in cultivating consistent sleep that is relaxing, rejuvenating, and restorative.
Mindfulness 101
Developing a mindfulness practice can feel impossible when operating in a society that determines our identities through how much we do rather than emphasizes the experience to simply be, but there are many ways to integrate mindfulness practices into your daily life, even amongst the never-ending demands.
Mindfulness techniques come in two forms: formal and informal.
Formal mindfulness techniques are those that are practiced in a specific setting with a distinct intention and method, such as meditation. Informal mindfulness techniques can be accessed at any point throughout your day, such as focusing on flavors as you eat or observing the breath as you drive.
Whether you have time to integrate formal mindfulness techniques into your daily regimen or just want to dip your toes into informal practices, here are some techniques you can start exploring today! I encourage you to experiment with different approaches, and to pick and choose the ones that interest you most as you begin your journey!