Emotional safety is the core foundation in relationships. It’s vital for building trust, vulnerability and intentional connection. This foundation allows you to show up authentically in your relationships, and it also allows you to do so without fear of being judged or rejected.
When survival quiets down, what’s left can feel unfamiliar. It’s strange to not always be scanning for danger. Strange to have choices instead of reflexes. Strange to realize that peace can feel unsafe when you’ve never had it before. This is the part of healing no one warns you about, the part that’s less “liberation” and more “relearning how to live.”
When most couples are in conflict, they often get stuck in a cycle of trying to win, rather than trying to understand each other. The fight escalates because we don’t feel heard. And when we don’t feel heard, we protect ourselves, by defending, explaining, or shutting down.
Have you ever cried on your birthday? If so, you’re clearly not alone. So why is that? And why do so many of us have such complicated relationships with our birthdays? Some people thrive, dedicating an entire month to celebrations and gatherings. Others prefer to let the day pass by without acknowledgement.
One of the reasons why conflict becomes so dangerous and unruly in relationships is due to the heightened emotionality of each person and the natural defensive and retaliatory responses elicited. In other words, when we hurl our raw, level 10 emotions at another person during conflict, it will most likely be met by more heightened emotion, defensiveness, or even complete emotional withdrawal or shut down.
If you have started researching therapists, you likely noticed the different therapy styles mentioned. The therapy style can be a valuable component in finding the right therapist for you. Each style varies based on how a therapist views change will occur in therapy. In this blog post, we will focus on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Humanistic, Post Modern (Narrative), and Psychodynamic.
Confrontation is an intimidating concept for many people. It often brings about feelings of fear, anxiety, and dread. I can’t count how many people I’ve heard refer to themselves as “non-confrontational” or that they “hate confrontation.” So why do so many of us feel that it’s an integral component of communicating our needs?
Some of the most common first-session questions I hear in couple therapy are, “How long is this going to take?” and “How can we make the most of our time together?” In typical therapist fashion, my answer is usually a variation of “It depends” and to answer the questions with more questions, but I do share my observations from past experiences.
People oftentimes feel that in order to maintain a healthy relationship, they can’t be assertive. This mindset can lead to feeling walked all over or taken advantage of, causing the relationship to feel one-sided. The good news is, this doesn’t have to be the case! Let’s talk about a behavioral strategy that will help you advocate for what you want in order to maintain healthy and mutually beneficial relationships.
Have you felt disappointed in dating or frustrated while fostering a relationship? Whether you’re currently in a committed relationship or braving the new frontier that is modern dating, differentiating between expectations and standards can save everyone involved a great deal of time and energy.
I hear clients talk about wanting to build a meaningful community and deeper connections within their relationships. However, this can be tough when dynamics already feel set in stone in long-term friendships, and you’re only starting to chip away at the relationship with yourself to get to your core. After all, the most important and long-lasting relationship we form is with ourselves!
*Sigh* “It is what it is.” Depending on who you ask, this can be such a polarizing statement. For some, that statement signals giving up. It feels as if you’re agreeing with the awful thing that happened and not putting up a fight to change it. For others, it might also be an expression of frustration, as well as a judgment-free acknowledgment of their inability to change the current reality. If you’ve ever used this statement, ask yourself, what allowed you to get there?
In an ideal world, the process of healing would only encompass feelings of euphoria and bliss as everything magically falls into place with the snap of your fingers. However, those of us who have gone through healing phases in our lives know that it never happens that way. There are many layers to healing that may involve unfamiliar emotions, discomfort, and a lot of turning inward.
Have you ever been in a situation where you were struggling to “trust your gut”? Maybe your emotions were too powerful in that moment, and you had trouble listening to reason, or you tried to make a decision without the influence of emotion and, as a result, felt detached from your intuition. You can find yourself in these patterns when you’re struggling to balance your Emotional and Rational Minds.
Your mind views the world and operates from three states: the Rational Mind, the Emotional Mind, and the Wise Mind.
