In movies and TV shows, we are exposed to fictional therapists who play a major or minor role in character development and plot. We have met therapists on the screen who are better than others, some representing more accurately the actual therapist-client relationship and some feeling completely unethical.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a term often tossed around casually. You’ve probably heard someone say, “I’m so OCD” about organizing their desk or arranging their bookshelf. But OCD is so much more than a preference for tidiness or a quirky habit. It’s a mental health condition that can feel overwhelming and exhausting, often making everyday life an uphill battle. Let’s take a closer look at what OCD really is and how it can show up in people’s lives.
Here’s the thing: too much screen time is draining our mental energy, increasing our stress, and keeping us from actually enjoying (real) life. As a therapist, I see the impact of this all the time—our devices are disconnecting us from what really matters: ourselves, our relationships, and our well-being. So, this New Year, I’m personally challenging YOU (and myself) to a 30-Day Digital Detox.
In my work with children and parent coaching, many of my client’s parents have asked me something along the lines of, “How can I best support my child when they’re feeling overwhelmed or dysregulated?” This question has come up more recently due to the busy season, so here are some effective strategies* to help your child–and yourself– navigate moments of dysregulation with care and connection.
Life presents us with challenges–that is inevitable. Over the course of my life, I have witnessed immense resilience in people from my culture which presents as strikingly superhuman at times. However, certain key components and practices build this resounding resilience over time.
The “rupture-repair cycle” is a crucial part of any relationship. As much as we don’t mean to, we sometimes hurt and let down the people we care about. There is some inevitability to this (though we should try to minimize it as much as possible!) but the repair after a rupture creates an opportunity for growth and reconnection.
Fundamental attribution error refers to the tendency people have to attribute another’s actions to their characteristics or personality and attribute their own behavior to external situational factors outside of their control.
One of my favorite stages in a relationship is what I call the “couch stage.” You’ve been together for enough time now that every hangout doesn’t have to be planned and you can spend a day (or days…) just relaxing on the couch together feeling that sense of comfort and safety. For so many of us, that sense of security and safety is so relieving that it feels tempting to stay in that cozy bubble forever, not letting anything in that could threaten that experience.
I have always struggled with taking a break. Whether it’s scheduling an appointment midday, taking a self-care day, or going on vacation, I automatically experience guilt. However, as a therapist, I am constantly helping my clients carve out time for themselves on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis. It feels so clear when speaking to others that we must all step away from our daily lives and take time to recharge. Yet it’s been so hard for me to take my advice and FULLY step away.
The phrase “bids for connection” was coined by husband and wife couples therapy powerhouse Julie and John Gottman. A “bid for connection” is any attempt for connection made by one person to another. These bids can be verbal, non-verbal, overt, or covert. We make countless bids for connection throughout our days within all of our relationships. For this blog post, we are going to focus on how this applies to our romantic relationships.
In the last six months, I have experienced both the most joyous and most painful moments of my life, often in the same week, day, or even hour. I have cried holding friends and then found myself doubling over with laughter within the same embrace. I have celebrated unions of love while mourning those who weren’t there to celebrate with me. I have intellectually understood the concept that we can hold multiple emotions at once, but this year taught me to truly notice and appreciate the way my heart has been able to stretch in new ways to hold these intense, often conflicting experiences.
You’re lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, watching the clock tick, and you start counting the hours of sleep and panicking about the next day if you don’t fall asleep this very second. Is this a familiar experience to you? I know it is for me. All my life, I’ve self-described as “a bad sleeper.” I struggle to fall asleep, stay asleep, and wake up feeling energized. After years of trying different techniques with minimal success, I was introduced to Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I).
Some of the most common first-session questions I hear in couple therapy are, “How long is this going to take?” and “How can we make the most of our time together?” In typical therapist fashion, my answer is usually a variation of “It depends” and to answer the questions with more questions, but I do share my observations from past experiences.
For years, I was embarrassed about this love for Taylor Swift. I downplayed how much energy, effort, and time I have dedicated to a person who has no idea I exist. On the other hand, this relationship (albeit one-sided) started when I was 12 and has remained strong for 15 years. Listening to her music has brought me an immense amount of joy, support, and connection. I’ve often wondered where the border of healthy vs. unhealthy is, leading me to discover the term “Parasocial Relationship.” A parasocial relationship “involves an enduring, one-sided connection between a viewer and a public figure.”
