I recommend journaling to many clients, and I talk with friends about how good it feels once I actually do it. And there’s always that moment — when I realize I’m not just recording my day anymore. I’m processing and speaking from a place I don’t usually slow down enough to access, and my inner world becomes so much more available.
So often we hear the phrase “new year, new you”. It creates this inevitable expectation that stepping into the new year should feel like a big change to ourselves, our goals, and/or our habits. For this reason, January is a month that can often hold so many mixed emotions: anxiety, guilt, pressure, shame, etc. We begin to feel more behind than inspired.
Many people expect that a steady, responsive, emotionally available partner will automatically feel calming. Instead, many people feel tense or suspicious when someone shows up in a genuinely healthy way. This isn’t a personality flaw, it’s a predictable attachment and nervous system response. So why is this?
My bag only gets stuck on the door handle when I’m having a bad day. Everyone is super annoying when I’m grumpy. My friend’s irritating boyfriend breathes too loudly. When I’m feeling happy it’s easier to find joy in the smaller everyday moments. Does my inner monologue resonate with you?
Shame can be one of the most painful and overpowering emotions in the human experience. It can feel intense, overwhelming, and really hard to talk about. Some people believe both guilt and shame are useful emotions that keep us aligned with our values.
At some point in your pursuit of caring for your mental health, you may have stumbled across the words “Somatic Therapy” or “Somatic Experiencing.” While this approach is widely used, it often leaves therapy-seekers curious about its definition and importance. So, what does it really mean to engage in somatic therapy, and how is it helpful?
In my work as a therapist, I’ve noticed many clients experiencing a lack in their sense of self. Those who struggle with their sense of self tend to feel directionless, are overly self-critical, have low self-confidence and self-esteem, feel disconnected from their true identity, and prioritize others’ needs over their own. Though a lack of sense of self can manifest in different ways, the last piece of prioritizing others’ needs over their own is what ties all these clients’ experiences together. Almost all of my clients who struggle with their sense of self are people-pleasers.
Imagine this: You’re about to speak in front of a group of people, and suddenly, your body seems to have a mind of its own. Your heart starts pounding, your palms get sweaty, and there’s that unmistakable fluttering sensation in your stomach.
Does this feeling sound familiar? Maybe it is set off by the fear of spiders, heights, or flying, but most of us have something that can make us feel paralyzed by fear.
Laughter is a gift that keeps on giving in our social relationships. When we bond through humor, oxytocin is released, causing us to feel more connected and less anxious. I’ve deepened my relationships through the ever-growing list of “inside jokes” and recognize how powerful shared humor is in increasing feelings of trust and vulnerability.
When thinking about positive affirmations, what comes to your mind? Do you cringe at the thought of standing in front of the mirror and complimenting yourself? Do you feel yourself saying, “I’ll never believe these statements.”
There has been a lot of buzz around Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) in the past several years, and many great self-help books and mental health apps have centered around the concepts of CBT. A key component of CBT is the Cognitive Triangle. This is the concept that thoughts, feelings, and behaviors all work together to influence each other. By working to target any of the three points on the triangle, it will naturally impact the other two. In therapy, the most common means of doing this is by challenging irrational thoughts in order to change feelings and behaviors.
Through much of my work with clients, I understand the importance of creating a distinction between behaviors and identity. In a recent session, a client expressed the cognitive dissonance they were experiencing due to the polarity of respecting and admiring their partner yet finding their current behaviors to be very off-putting. Having an awareness of the duality of a person’s character and behaviors can go a long way in increasing compassion, understanding, and communication.
Do these sound familiar to you? When you hear these messages, whose voice do you hear? If you’re picturing yourself saying these things, you might be experiencing life with a pesky inner critic in your ear. You might be wondering where this inner critic came from, especially if you’ve never experienced a day in your life where you weren’t critical of yourself. So did this inner critic just show up one day? Well, no, not exactly. I want to emphasize that you are not born self-critical. This is a learned behavior shaped by childhood experiences and upbringing.
If you have started researching therapists, you likely noticed the different therapy styles mentioned. The therapy style can be a valuable component in finding the right therapist for you. Each style varies based on how a therapist views change will occur in therapy. In this blog post, we will focus on Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Humanistic, Post Modern (Narrative), and Psychodynamic.
