Ali's Posts, Root to Rise Therapy's Posts, Self Care & Mindfulness
Becky White George
Breaking The Self-Doubt Spiral

When we experience disappointing responses to our efforts, it’s tempting to make that mean something about how unskilled we are, how incompetent we must be, or even how unlovable or undeserving of a person we feel we are. We tell ourselves a story that if we had just worked a little harder, or said the right thing, or “mastered” the extremely simple art of toasting toast, then we would receive a more favorable response and thus, feel better about ourselves.

Breaking The Self-Doubt Spiral
Root to Rise Therapy's Posts, Monica's Posts, Self Care & Mindfulness
Becky White George
Emotional Suppression vs. Regulation

We often hear the words “emotional regulation” and think it means: “be rational instead of emotional” or “maybe just don’t feel your emotions at all!” Maybe you’ve even heard that if you let yourself feel the emotions, then people will view you as “emotionally unstable”. If you’ve heard any of the above, it totally makes sense.

Emotional Suppression vs. Regulation
Megan's Posts, Self Care & Mindfulness, Root to Rise Therapy's Posts
Becky White George
Shifting Your Attention: Valued Living

Everywhere we turn, there’s a gut-wrenching headline that grips us, a new app competing for our time, or a notification that demands immediate response. Quick PSA: if you are finding it difficult to focus, it's. not. your. fault. We live in a world designed to fragment our attention.

Shifting Your Attention: Valued Living
Helene's Posts, Self Care & Mindfulness, Root to Rise Therapy's Posts
Becky White George
Meaningful Reflections

True reflection is gentle, curious, and grounded in self-compassion. It helps us move forward with intention rather than pressure. Here are some prompts I share with clients to reflect on the year that just passed

Meaningful Reflections
Ali's Posts, Root to Rise Therapy's Posts, Self Care & Mindfulness
Becky White George
The Inner Orchestra of Parts

Do you ever have “mixed feelings” or experience several different emotions all at once in response to one pertinent issue or life stressor? In these moments, does it sometimes feel like you’re sitting around a chaotic dining table with all of your most opinionated or eclectic family members talking about controversial topics like politics, social issues, simulation theory, flat-earth rhetoric or what kind of bagel is objectively most delicious? You may have just encountered the cacophony of your various inner parts, or your Internal Family System.

The Inner Orchestra of Parts
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Estranged Parents

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Estranged Parents

If a friend came to you for advice about how to move forward in a relationship that was causing them continual distress and pain, what advice would you give them? If you’ve been in therapy before, you’d probably encourage them to start by communicating their feelings. If that doesn’t work, setting boundaries would most likely be the next course of action. If the boundaries were not respected and your friend continued to be hurt, you would start to hint at ending the relationship. This advice feels relatively straightforward in a romantic or companion relationship. But what happens if the relationship that is causing continual distress and pain is with a parent? Does the course of action change? This very question comes up in therapy sessions with adult children regularly, yet rarely without some sense of guilt or shame. In reality, around 27% of adults experience family estrangement that either they or another family member initiates (Karl Pillemer, Fault Lines). So much of the stigma surrounding family estrangement is based upon the assumption that our parents being in our lives is always the best option for our mental health. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. If you are an adult child struggling with having an estranged relationship with a parent, here are some important things to remember:

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Gratitude vs. Guilt

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Gratitude vs. Guilt

I often assign a gratitude practice to clients that are experiencing depression, but I have noticed that sometimes it backfires. When we are depressed, we notice negative things even more than the average person. This means that a depressed person would have to work even harder than a non-depressed person to absorb positive stimuli in their environment!

We know that people experiencing depression are often more tired, have less ability to focus and concentrate, lack motivation, and also spend a lot of their time feeling like a failure. So asking a depressed person to work so much harder to identify positive things, is sort of like asking a person who has never gone on a jog in their life to go run a marathon tomorrow.

This is all to say that sometimes, gratitude doesn’t work.

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Boosting Creativity

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Boosting Creativity

Do you ever find yourself lacking motivation or feeling as if you’re just going about your days in auto-mode? I know I definitely do, and increasingly so these past couple of years!

Throughout the past two years many of us have unwittingly found ourselves in an ongoing state of existing vs. living. Existing is a state of numbness, operating on perpetual autopilot and clinging onto any semblance of routine and normalcy. Living, as a contrast, is the state of total engagement with life, feeling the broad spectrum of emotions, and being open to creative potential. The experience of existing can lead to a life devoid of creative expression, or what we might call writer’s block, creative slowdown, or lack of inspiration.

If you feel that you are suffering a creative block, the good news is that creative potential exists within you. Engaging with it is the key to unlocking hope and purpose—the two elements needed to awaken us from existing and elevate us into living. Here are a few ways to tap into your why and, by doing so, boost your creativity:

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Split Ambivalence

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Split Ambivalence

“Splitting the ambivalence” describes the phenomenon that occurs when two people become so polarized in their stances that they are unable to step out of their positions. This occurs in relationships of all forms, but for this conversation I’m going to focus on romantic relationships. As Esther Perel describes it, “people come in with a story that is either/or” and the story becomes ‘I want one thing and my partner wants the opposite’. When one person adamantly says they want one thing, and the other passionately says no, it feels like one partner has 0% doubt and the other is 100% doubtful. Rather than meeting in the middle, one partner takes on one half of the perspective, which polarizes and puts the other half on their partner. I know this can all be a bit confusing in generalities, so here’s an example of how it can play out in couples therapy.

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Starting a Business

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Starting a Business

“While there can be no question that the last two years have harmed us, it’s also encouraged us to rethink how, where, and why we work.” - Rha Goddess

As Rha Goddess so aptly points out, the last two years have led many of us to question the hows, wheres, and whys of our work. I have seen clients leave their jobs to start new jobs, leave their jobs even when they don’t have new jobs, and leave their jobs because they have a bigger “why” that’s calling to them. A lot of times this bigger “why” is connected to a deep sense of purpose and calling, a desire to remove themselves from the traditional 9-5, and create a relationship with work that honors their values and energy cycles.

As a business owner I find it so exciting to work with clients who are exploring the idea of starting their own business. I have learned a lot over the years from my own experience as a business owner. I have put in time, energy, and resources towards learning how to run a business (and still have so much to learn). I have educated myself with books, professional coaches, masterminds, and courses to learn about business, money psychology, and leadership. Through my own experiences and a good lot of trial and error, I’m sharing with you my 10 fundamental tips for starting your own business, whether it’s a side hustle or your true calling.

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Therapy: An Investment In Yourself

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Therapy: An Investment In Yourself

Take a moment to consider something you spend money on, and what it brings into your life. Does that thing or experience fill you with joy? Does it make your life easier? Does it make you feel safer? Is it important to someone you love and you like to see them happy?

Now consider that the quality of our primary relationships with our loved ones is one of the key determinants of life satisfaction and happiness. Learning ways to communicate, set healthy boundaries, and identify and express vulnerable feelings is vital to the health of our long-term relationships. Your family of origin may not have modeled safety or the productive sharing of feelings. You may have learned that self-preservation meant taking care of others, but never learned to care for yourself. Or you may have learned that taking care of others is the only way to feel worthy of love.

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The Post-Holiday Blues

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The Post-Holiday Blues

January is the Monday of the year. The holidays are over, it feels like there’s nothing to look forward to, you’ve returned from your travels (or moved from the couch to your desk), your kids are back at school, and you’ve started back up at work. The weather is bleak and there is less daylight (though I can hear everyone outside of Los Angeles rolling their eyes at me); life returns to normal, yet for many of us we don’t feel normal at all. We expect to start the new year feeling well rested, calmer and more grounded, and ready to make all of the changes in our lives that will make us a new and improved person. This all sounds wonderful, albeit unrealistic. If you’re struggling with adjusting to 2022, here are some ways to combat the post-holiday blues

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7 Tips for Better Sleep

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7 Tips for Better Sleep

Sleep is one of the highest forms of self-care, situated right at the foundation of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs.

Many of us logically understand the significant impact of sleep on mental health, physical health, and overall well-being. However, sleep tends to be one of the first needs that gets sacrificed when we become increasingly busy.

I’m here to offer you several useful tips on how to maximize your sleep, but more importantly to urge you to look at sleep as a priority. Sure — self-care in the form of bubble baths, facemasks, and all the other small rituals to nurture yourself is healing — but a deep night’s sleep is ESSENTIAL.

This is because while we sleep, we recharge our bodies and minds, consolidate memories and information, increase our immune function to stay healthy, and increase our abilities to be alert and productive during the day.

Many people struggle with initial insomnia or sleep-onset insomnia, which is characterized as a difficulty in falling asleep and is often linked with anxiety.

I’ve listed some tools and techniques below, along with an evening wind-down meditation of mine, in order to support you in cultivating consistent sleep that is relaxing, rejuvenating, and restorative.

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Coping with Grief

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Coping with Grief

“And when great souls die, after a period peace blooms, slowly and always irregularly. Spaces fill with a kind of soothing electric vibration. Our senses, restored, never to be the same, whisper to us. They existed. We can be. Be and be better. For they existed.”- Maya Angelou


These lines from the poem “When Great Trees Fall” by Maya Angelou were read to me in session by a client as she prepared for her first Thanksgiving without her husband. Though this client has been feeling the immense weight of her grief daily and even hourly, the thought of the imminent holiday season has been bringing up new and intense emotions. The experience of managing grief comes up every year in therapy sessions, but this year the grieving feels even more pervasive as so many of us have lost family members throughout the pandemic. In some way, we are all grieving the loss of unmet expectations and hopes from the past 21 months.

For many, the end of the year holidays signifies a time of togetherness, happiness, and celebration. For those of us that are grieving, these feelings are muddled together with pain, loneliness, longing, resentment, and a myriad of other emotions. Creating space for all of these jumbled emotions can feel overwhelming. Here are some coping skills to keep in mind this holiday season for anyone experiencing grief in any form.

 

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