Kalie's posts, Self Care & Mindfulness
Becky White George
Living Intentionally

You're an active participant in your life, not a passive bystander. You’re connected to your body, your emotions, your time, and your values. That connection helps you move through life in a way that actually feels like living.

Living Intentionally
Jessica's Posts, Relationships
Becky White George
Relationship Changes: How to Adapt

In all relationships, life occurs, and shifts happen outside of and inside the couple unit. As much as we may want to protect our relationship bubble from outside influences, we are not immune to the climate around us. If we expect to be the same people, with the same life, and the same experiences throughout a long-term relationship, we are actually setting ourselves up to be especially vulnerable to the impact of both external pressures and internal change. Change will happen. The adage of change being the only constant is especially true when navigating relationship changes. So how do we navigate them together, instead of growing apart?

Relationship Changes: How to Adapt
Ali's Posts, Relationships
Becky White George
Long-Distance: How to Last

When previously romantic long distance relationships depended on idealization, pining, and pen-pal style correspondences, these days, LDRs contain as many emotional, logistical, and relational challenges as more geographically convenient connections, compounded by the added variable of physical distance.  Because of this growing access to romantic partners across the world, long distance relationship advice, support, and communication tips for couples navigating love across the globe have never been more needed.

Long-Distance: How to Last
Monica's Posts, Therapy: Getting Started
Becky White George
Couples Therapy: What to Expect

Does taking the plunge into couples therapy feel a bit exciting, yet also intimidating? If that’s the case, you’re not alone and that feeling is actually very common. This is an experience that can really test you and your relationship, while also strengthening it in a way you’ve always wanted.

Couples Therapy: What to Expect
Self Care & Mindfulness, Helene's Posts
Becky White George
Can't Relax?

If you’ve ever wondered, “Why can’t I just relax?”, especially when nothing’s wrong, you’re not alone. For a lot of us, especially those who’ve spent years in go-mode, real rest doesn’t feel natural. In fact, it can feel kind of… uncomfortable.

Can't Relax?
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Couple's Conflict

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Couple's Conflict

It’s Never about the Tacos

We’ve all been there: those tiny trivial triggers that lead to big blow-up fights. Sitting across the table from each other with scattered taco fixings between you, wrist deep in guacamole, fighting about who left the spoon in the sour cream. Luckily, my husband and I were able to break down and process the The Great Taco Fight of 2022, and get to the core of what was going on. And you would never have guessed (or maybe you would): all the different ways we were triggered that had nothing to do with tacos (ex: I was hangry, he felt unappreciated, etc, etc.) The good news for all of us (myself included) is that couples therapy is a wonderful opportunity to explore these faster-than-the-speed-of-light escalations.

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Marriage Counseling

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Marriage Counseling

Marriage counseling is needed when couples continue to run into the same distressing communication issues or the same problems over and over again, maybe with a slightly different disguise. Oftentimes, we make negative assumptions about the other person’s intentions. In counseling you’ll have an opportunity to practice healthy communication by learning new ways to express your feelings when you’re hurt, and start listening to understand your partner’s perspective. You do not need to have experienced extreme distress to seek marriage counseling. In fact, if you are reading this blog and are interested in improving communication and closeness in your relationship, couples counseling will likely be beneficial.

Marriage counseling can help with trust issues, infidelity, parenting issues, relationship ambivalence, codependency, intimacy issues, financial disagreements, and can also offer a safe space for premarital couples to work out some of these issues before they marry.

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Your Worst Enemy

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Your Worst Enemy

The “double-edged sword” is the concept that the same qualities and characteristics about your personality that make you kickass at work, can also hurt you in your personal life. The very thing that makes you so successful at work can also get the way in your intimate relationships.

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Boundaries

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Boundaries

As an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist and someone who constantly seeks growth and understanding of the human condition, I find that breaking down boundary setting into three components is a useful way to guide clients through the process.

The three steps are: Identification, Assertion, and Enforcement.

Step 1– Identify Your Boundaries

How do you build a home without a blueprint? How do you know where to place the windows for others to look in through, or the doors to let them inside? How solid is the foundation and the support of the walls protecting you inside? In order to set boundaries, we need to know what our boundaries are! I like to break down boundaries into physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, time-related… the list can go on! Once I have identified the various levels of boundaries, I connect to my intuition and ask myself questions such as, “How would I like to feel in the presence of others?”, “What are my limits?”, “How do I want to be talked to?”, “How much of my time am I willing to give without sacrificing my own well-being?”, etc. Once I have clearly defined my personal boundaries, I have more clarity on how to communicate them to others.

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Estranged Parents

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Estranged Parents

If a friend came to you for advice about how to move forward in a relationship that was causing them continual distress and pain, what advice would you give them? If you’ve been in therapy before, you’d probably encourage them to start by communicating their feelings. If that doesn’t work, setting boundaries would most likely be the next course of action. If the boundaries were not respected and your friend continued to be hurt, you would start to hint at ending the relationship. This advice feels relatively straightforward in a romantic or companion relationship. But what happens if the relationship that is causing continual distress and pain is with a parent? Does the course of action change? This very question comes up in therapy sessions with adult children regularly, yet rarely without some sense of guilt or shame. In reality, around 27% of adults experience family estrangement that either they or another family member initiates (Karl Pillemer, Fault Lines). So much of the stigma surrounding family estrangement is based upon the assumption that our parents being in our lives is always the best option for our mental health. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. If you are an adult child struggling with having an estranged relationship with a parent, here are some important things to remember:

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Gratitude vs. Guilt

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Gratitude vs. Guilt

I often assign a gratitude practice to clients that are experiencing depression, but I have noticed that sometimes it backfires. When we are depressed, we notice negative things even more than the average person. This means that a depressed person would have to work even harder than a non-depressed person to absorb positive stimuli in their environment!

We know that people experiencing depression are often more tired, have less ability to focus and concentrate, lack motivation, and also spend a lot of their time feeling like a failure. So asking a depressed person to work so much harder to identify positive things, is sort of like asking a person who has never gone on a jog in their life to go run a marathon tomorrow.

This is all to say that sometimes, gratitude doesn’t work.

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Boosting Creativity

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Boosting Creativity

Do you ever find yourself lacking motivation or feeling as if you’re just going about your days in auto-mode? I know I definitely do, and increasingly so these past couple of years!

Throughout the past two years many of us have unwittingly found ourselves in an ongoing state of existing vs. living. Existing is a state of numbness, operating on perpetual autopilot and clinging onto any semblance of routine and normalcy. Living, as a contrast, is the state of total engagement with life, feeling the broad spectrum of emotions, and being open to creative potential. The experience of existing can lead to a life devoid of creative expression, or what we might call writer’s block, creative slowdown, or lack of inspiration.

If you feel that you are suffering a creative block, the good news is that creative potential exists within you. Engaging with it is the key to unlocking hope and purpose—the two elements needed to awaken us from existing and elevate us into living. Here are a few ways to tap into your why and, by doing so, boost your creativity:

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Split Ambivalence

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Split Ambivalence

“Splitting the ambivalence” describes the phenomenon that occurs when two people become so polarized in their stances that they are unable to step out of their positions. This occurs in relationships of all forms, but for this conversation I’m going to focus on romantic relationships. As Esther Perel describes it, “people come in with a story that is either/or” and the story becomes ‘I want one thing and my partner wants the opposite’. When one person adamantly says they want one thing, and the other passionately says no, it feels like one partner has 0% doubt and the other is 100% doubtful. Rather than meeting in the middle, one partner takes on one half of the perspective, which polarizes and puts the other half on their partner. I know this can all be a bit confusing in generalities, so here’s an example of how it can play out in couples therapy.

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Starting a Business

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Starting a Business

“While there can be no question that the last two years have harmed us, it’s also encouraged us to rethink how, where, and why we work.” - Rha Goddess

As Rha Goddess so aptly points out, the last two years have led many of us to question the hows, wheres, and whys of our work. I have seen clients leave their jobs to start new jobs, leave their jobs even when they don’t have new jobs, and leave their jobs because they have a bigger “why” that’s calling to them. A lot of times this bigger “why” is connected to a deep sense of purpose and calling, a desire to remove themselves from the traditional 9-5, and create a relationship with work that honors their values and energy cycles.

As a business owner I find it so exciting to work with clients who are exploring the idea of starting their own business. I have learned a lot over the years from my own experience as a business owner. I have put in time, energy, and resources towards learning how to run a business (and still have so much to learn). I have educated myself with books, professional coaches, masterminds, and courses to learn about business, money psychology, and leadership. Through my own experiences and a good lot of trial and error, I’m sharing with you my 10 fundamental tips for starting your own business, whether it’s a side hustle or your true calling.

 

Start With You. Today.